ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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