Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
