they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
