Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Come on in and take your pants off
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