My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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