Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
