youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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