Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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