Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
