I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
