I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
