so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
