everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
