just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I AM VODKA MAN
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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