I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
