how can u be prego again
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
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