Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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