If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
50% drunk capacity currently
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
