I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize