is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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