When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
They took my balls.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
