we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Randomize
