Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Randomize
