Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
