Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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