Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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