Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
