I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
