Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
