My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
