Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
