I wish I could punch you in the face.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
