So drunk its hurt
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
