I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize