you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
