yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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