Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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