I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Randomize
