There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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