if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
do herpes really smell.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
