making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
