You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Do vagina's smell?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
