She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
