I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
