he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
