Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
