I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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