dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
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