One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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