I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
