Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
