ya dads aren't the best wingmen
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Found your dick twin last night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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