Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Randomize
