You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
