Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
