i think my tv is drunk
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
