Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
