His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
